Right about now you are probably seeing hearts in stores, on line, in the newspaper, and everywhere else you look. Valentines Day is coming up soon and love tends to be celebrated all month long.
For those in an intimate partnership of some kind, Valentines Day may bring with it a little more romance and passion. For those who are not in an intimate relationship, however, it can be like a neon sign screaming at your heart that you are alone and unloved. That kind of thing can be devastatingly painful, particularly if someone wants to be in love.
Whether you are in a loving relationship or not, there is always room for more love in your life and that is what this article is about.
You deserve love, whether it is ...
being manifested outwardly in the form of a partner or not. Regardless of who you are, you can have love in your life. But it has to begin with you.
Love is much like magnets. When the conditions are right, there is strong attraction. When the conditions are "wrong," there is absolute repulsion. This doesn't just apply to loving relationships. It applies to business success, health, and happiness on all levels.
When you are healthy, happy, mentally/emotionally whole and balanced, love is amazingly easy to attract. When you are desperately seeking approval and love, your "vibe" is quite repulsive - except to someone else who is desperately seeking approval and love. When those two get together - wow does it make a horrible combination.
Two needy people do not make a whole. All they make is a dysfunctional co-dependent mess. It is better to be alone than to be involved in that scenario.
When you are unhappy, doubt who you are, have given up hope, feel undeserving, have resigned yourself to never having what you desire in life, then you can not possibly draw in an ideal partner. You might draw in something, but in the long run it will not be what you are really wanting.
If, on the other hand, you are happy, fully engaged in life, love who you are and what you are up to, its amazing how attractive that can be to another.
So you see love, like all things, begins within.
When you are so happy you don't care if you have someone special in your life or not, that's precisely when they tend to show up. And then you get to decide if you really want to get involved. It becomes an active choice, not a desperate clinging to the tiny morsel you feel the Universe has sent your way.
Given the right amount of time and attention, strong, lasting love ages and matures into something truly wonderful much like a fine wine. Just because something starts out with a great crescendo, doesn't mean it is guaranteed to last. However, if it starts out with red flags and things that don't feel quite right, you should get out immediately, because as the facades are dropped, the honeymoon hormones subside, and the real person begins to reveal him or herself, what started out "not quite right" can end up being pretty darn awful.
When you have done a lot of work on yourself (perhaps including group processes or one on one work with me), learned to truly love yourself, experienced deeply powerful healing of the shadow self, transformed your:
- limiting beliefs,
- expectations, and
- attachments to outcomes,
The more you heal and become whole, the clearer your thinking and perceptions become, the less reactive you are to people and situations, the more calmly and confidently you can go about your day.
As with all the close relationships in your life, the person you choose to express romantic affection for needs to love, honor, accept, and appreciate you for who you are. You need to like who are you in their presence - because every person brings out one or more of the unique aspects that make up the multifaceted diamond that you are.
Just as we were getting to know one another, a guy in a recent relationship said something to the effect that he doesn't like getting involved with women on a mission since they tended to want him to jump on board with their program. And I immediately said, "OMG no!" Something I find most appealing is the passion with which a guy pursues his own dreams and interests. I want someone to be outrageously, fabulously, authentically who they are and passionately engaged in their own life and pursuits. Sure I want them to accept and appreciate who I am and what I do, but they have their own life to live. Everyone has something that brings them great joy and that is definitely what they should be doing. Otherwise, they (and you) will begin to wither and die.
You have some gift to bring to this world - find it and do it. It could be as simple as making someone smile or the discovery of the cure for cancer. Only you know. I'm convinced that the life force, chi, or Universal flow comes through us and is increased when we do the things we love that bring us joy and make us feel delighted to be alive.
For me that is communing with the ocean or any other part of nature, writing, speaking, enjoying a great meal and/or great conversation with dear friends, dancing, traveling and experiencing new places, cultures, and people. When I don't do these things, I start to lose energy, I experience a drop in my level of joy.
I'm sure that if you paid attention to how you feel, you would notice the same thing if you are neglecting the things that bring you joy.
If you don't know what brings you joy, then think about the things you loved to do as a child.
Like I often say, "Life works when you are happy, it sucks when you are not." And when you are happy, love and other blessings keep coming your way.
Have a deLightful day,
P.S. these ideas give you a tiny glimpse into the new book on relationships that I'm working on for the Mastering Your Magnificence series.
P.S.S. If you want to get more in resonance with LOVE and other things that you desire, then get the Dancing Dolphin Law of Attraction Kit and bask in that radiance daily. It really shifts your resonance.