Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Flowing with Change

My father is in the hospital. He had a mini-stroke last week. His only remaining sibling (his brother), is in critical condition in a hospital about an hour away. People on Facebook have been offering their support.

I began to respond on Facebook about all the lovely and heart-felt words people were writing and then I realized what I have to share about this is much bigger than a message on Facebook.

Dealing with this situation, I'm a wee bit stressed with trying to ...
"hold space" for everyone, help out as needed, take inspired actions as the need arises, and get everything done that needs to happen by this giant deadline staring me in the face with a book launch.

When you've been down the path I've walked, you just learn to roll with whatever comes and alter your course and make decisions as the need arises - without upset or expectation.

There is a saying that goes, "Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell and spirituality is for people who have already been there." That is definitely the case for me. (No offense to religious people intended.) Its just the journey my soul desired.

I've been to hell and back more than once.

I was raped the summer after high school - which ultimately became the greatest catalyst for growth and spiritual expansion that I've ever experienced. It was 15 years later when the memories began to surface and came spilling out to be dealt with, that my life took a dramatic turn and I spent the next 20 years doing a deep dive into spirituality, metaphysics, meditation in its myriad forms, body mind spirit medicine, and holistic health. It was a horrible experience that lead me to finding myself, going deep within, achieving a level of wholeness few even know is possible, and expanding well beyond "normal" in a spiritual sense.

I have come to terms with it. I found the where with all to forgive myself for whatever part I played in drawing that experience into my life and to forgive the person whom I thought was a trusted friend, who turned out to be a rapist instead. This trauma of it all has been completely healed. I can say I experienced rape without any emotional response whatsoever. Because I went through all the stages of mourning and I applied all the extremely advanced energy and metaphysical wisdom I've gained and truly took it out at the root cause. It is just an experience that happened somewhere in my past. End of story.

You know you are "done" with an issue when you no longer experience judgment, fear, anger, sadness, or anything else related to it when it comes up in conversation or something reminds you of it.

There have been several other moments of being in hell ...

After several years of a very meaningful and blissful marriage, my husband had an affair. And then having affairs became habitual. At first I was in denial. Much like I had done with the rape, I used the classic coping mechanism of denial to ignore the issue. If you bury it, you don't have to deal with the extreme feelings you don't know how to handle.

Thankfully by that time I had lots of healing tools at my disposal and one of the most gifted healers and intuitives I've ever met as a best friend. We spent endless hours looking at my own demons, again seeking the part I played in having this experience. I did numerous healing sessions, past life regressions, and energy healing exercises to "fix" whatever was broken within me. When my time with him was finished, we parted as friends and still communicate well and often regarding our son.

I had a dream job in the pharmaceutical industry and then the company restructured and I got what felt very much like a demotion and many of my dearest friends and colleagues were let go. It was devastating.

Any one of these things could have left me shattered, a wounded soul, wandering in the darkness, distrusting people, hating life, living as a bitter and angry person or in perpetual depression and sadness for the rest of my life. Instead, they helped me rise to such heights, to such a level of wholeness and joy, that I can't even properly describe it in words.

It may sound callous, but I learned a long time ago that "shit happens" and getting angry or upset about change, and things you have no control over, is a pointless exercise and is actually counterproductive to achieving a positive result.  Death is inevitable. Regardless, you, the Real You, never dies. That fact  has nothing to do with religion.

You are a Divine spark of divinity living a human experience. You were in Union with the Divine long before you were born into this life experience and you will remain in Union with Divinity long after you leave.

I am not afraid of death. When you stop fearing death, you become free.

Fear is the enemy here. Not death. For many, death is a sweet relief from suffering and the soul goes on to grander things, new lessons, and new experiences once the body has been laid to rest.

I have the ability to drop into a theta brainwave state at will, even with my eyes open. Thank you Stuart Wilde - may he rest in peace.

That brilliant ability allows you to completely go into a zone of neutrality, no fear, no regret, no upset of any kind, totally receptive and responsive to Divine wisdom in moments where you need it. It allows you to know what to do, what to say, and where to be in practically every moment. It allows miracles to happen and I've had and seen so many I can't even count them all.

Fear causes restriction. All you can see is the problem and the fear blinds you to all the possibilities and options that are right there in front of you. Staying out of a fearful place and just flowing with the moment, being in a completely neutral position, responding to each new moment and situation as it unfolds, allows you to stay expansive and make powerful and good decisions.

Its where I live most of the time.

I'm doing fairly well with being calm, at peace, and flowing at the moment. I keep "tuning in" to my father and his condition and know that things are unfolding in their Divine right timing. When I need to intervene, talk to doctors and nurses, or have intuitive hunches about things to consider and discuss, I take those actions. It is my job to stay in a calm and centered space and "hold" that all is well. That simply can not be done when a person is angry, sad, or upset. To do my job - in this and every situation - I am required to be ever vigilant, the spiritual warrior, holding in my heart and mind that "all is well."

Other people are experiencing the up, down, and sideways adventure of someone they love facing physical challenges and potential death. It is those people, whom I love very much, that I have concern for.

Until there is a change for either my father or my uncle, I will remain in this calm and centered space, responding to each new person and situation in the moment. When my uncle makes his transition, I will smile thinking back on the life he has lead and I will experience sadness at his passing and for the sense of loss his family will be experiencing.

Life shifts on a dime. One minute things look one way and the next its all turned upside down and things will never be the same. Truly savor each moment and person in your life. Be fully present in your every now moment. Stop regretting the past and dreading the future. Right here, right now, is all that counts. Make the most of it!   

Have a deLightful day,

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